Something About Shit Influencers

Right, how do we do this? Sometimes, I just pop a draft title into Substack, save it, and think, "I’ll come back to that later." Well, now is … later?

The title of a newsletter I’ve been sitting on for a while just said, “Something About Shit Influencers.” I know what that means, and I think you do too.

Whatever industry you happen to work in, there’s always a bunch of people who manage to clog up your timelines and algorithms no matter how hard you try to avoid them.

Now, is this going to be some soapbox rant about specific people in the industry I’m in? No, I’m not a complete bastard. I’ll keep the specifics out of it. But let’s just say, we all know the type.

Wine World and the ‘Side Hustle’ Mentality

For some reason at the moment, the Instagram algorithm seems to think I’m in desperate need of ‘Side Hustle Advice.’ The sort of people who think they’re changing their lives, by cluttering up my internet with random e-downloads, made for free in Canva, selling for £25 a pop.

Apparently, thousands of people are downloading these every week.

To get people to download these money-makers, they’ve got to promote the hell out of them. They do that by mainly selling self help e-books about their method of generating passive income. It’s a pyramid scheme playing out in your Instagram feed.

An endless loop of self-promotion, with about as much substance as a mass-produced bottle of the Chicken Wine.

The Wine World Needs Less Influence

The wine world has its own breed of influencers, so much content out there means that that no wine drinkers are downloading a £20 PDF on how to run a wine tasting night.

Imagine if the social media team at Pantone tried to convince everyone that each shade of green is a unique experience. That’s the level of Influence I think the industry is hoping for.

There’s too many wines in the world to promote. Even if you unleashed an army of ‘micro-influencers,’ it wouldn’t make a dent in global drinking habits. A bigger dent is made daily by unexpected endorsements from authentic superstars.

Similarly, I’m big into pizza¹, but my algorithm isn’t serving up people reviewing frozen pizzas from Sainsbury’s. It’s mostly chefs and makers showing me how to make a better dough, or a new technique for stretching I can’t figure out.

It’s kinda useful, it’s relevant, and it’s not the shallow stuff that clogs up corners of wine-internet.

I’m sure there’s some algorithm out there feeding pizza reviews to someone, but there aren’t 500 different pizzas at Tesco. You’ve got maybe ten variations on the same few flavours. The point is, the content that matters is the content that adds value, not just fills space.

It Depends

Most wine types who take to the internet to talk about wine, myself included, will tell you how someone else made the wine, and maybe what they think about it.

The good ones have a bit of flair or a unique, approachable delivery, but in essence, we’re all saying the same thing:

“Here’s a wine you haven’t tasted and probably won’t buy, but it’s made from grape X and tastes a bit like Y.”

The MW studies have taught me, and through the tours I host at the vineyard, I've learned that when a question can be answered with "it depends," you're onto something genuinely interesting.

But, the internet isn’t built for this nuance. You can’t cram the complexities of wine production, commercial realities, and stylistic choices into a neat 90-second clip with a splash of style and a clever CTA.

So, what have influencers done? They’ve chopped out the technical stuff, boiled it all down to a few simplified points, and dressed it up as something ostensibly creative.

Creative delivery isn’t just standing in Tesco, reviewing whatever’s on the shelf, or pairing a cheap bottle with a picky -tea, or rehashing a PR script.

It’s about genuine passion, understanding the craft, and bringing something fresh to the table. I try my best.

Maybe I’m just a bit of a grump, but oversimplification and blatant inaccuracies just get thrown around. A line is crossed when influencers start peddling nonsense as fact, and it’s not just irritating, it’s actually misleading.

A Few Things To Remember

• Not all Prosecco is made using the Charmat method, and it’s not always 100% Glera.

• Some rosé is a blend of red and white wine, and not all English rosé is as pale as some.

• Picpoul is the grape, Pinet is the place.

• Red Vinho Verde exists.

• You can’t make white wine out of every red grape variety.

• Ice in your wine is totally fine.

• You don’t need a different glass for every type of wine.

I’ve seen some garbage with zero interrogation, and it makes me wonder; if the ‘influencee’ trusts the influencer enough, do factual errors even matter?

What does that say about the influence these people actually have?

At the end of the day, we could try to be more discerning about who we let influence us, but the algorithm won’t let us.

In a world where oversimplified wine reviews are daily, it’s more important than ever to filter out the noise and focus on the content that actually adds value.

After all, the real influence lies in depth, understanding, and a bit of authenticity.

I’ll get off my soapbox now, and back to stretching some pizza dough.

Dan

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Further Reading

The Wine Influencers, an MDPI article.

Exploring a New Communication Model of Open Innovation for Wine Producers

“Nowadays, consumers have many more quality wine choices compared to the past. They can rely on apps, blogs, and online product reviews to be informed about products and brands.

As an experiential good, to purchase a wine without tasting is often challenging, and consumers’ decisions are based on the information owned.”

Some ever interesting views and insight from Joe F.

What influencer marketing is. And why it matters

Brace yourself. This may be painful to hear. People trust influencers more than they trust you.

• 90% of people with access to the internet trust recommendations from social media influencers

• 2 out of 3 consumers don’t fully trust companies

Influence is more than influencers

1. Ahem.